Sergei Lavrov, S.M. Krishna and Yang Jiechi (left to right)

The RIC Triumvirate

On Tuesday the 27th of October 2009, S.M. Krishna, Yang Jiechi and Sergei Lavrov had a tripartite meeting at Bangalore, India. The gentlemen mentioned are Foreign Affairs ministers, respectively of India, China and Russia. The meeting itself was given the fancy name ‘RIC’ for Russia, India and China. ‘RIC’ represents 20% of our earth’s land mass and 39% of global population. (If you remove Russia from that group, it might be something like 10% of land mass and 35% of global population. Would have sounded more impressive, eh?)
Soon after the meeting, not satisfied with all the constructive and positive matters they had agreed on, an elaborate press conference was called. This exercise was to illuminate the nobility of their joint exercise to the dumb voting masses in India and their counterparts in Russia and China. Here, with a great measure of certainty, please let it be added that my Sino and Russian brothers haven’t had a good look at the ballot box in an awfully long time. 

The key points agreed upon at the meeting were-

  • A joint effort to act firmly against international terrorism, adhering  to UN protocol
  • Cooperation in the fields of chemicals, energy, pharmaceuticals, nanotechnology, curbing of global warming and international trade
  • Evaluating recent international developments
  • Holding further talks on catastrophe management, agriculture and health
  • Welcoming the outcome of the G20 Nations’ at Pittsburgh
  • Expressing a desire to hold future G20 meetings alternatively in developed and developing nations
  • Ensuring an equal partnership for developed and developing nations while voting for international banking affairs
  • Deciding to hold the next ‘RIC’ meeting in China and so on 

Phew! These three gentlemen, between them, have sorted out every burning issue that plagues the world today. I hope they got each other right, because Krishna speaks Hindi, Yang speaks Chinese (Cantonese, Manchurian or another?) and Sergie speaks Russian. English should have been the ideal common language and I am sure Krishna speaks its Delhi version, thanks to the free educational system in India. Russia and China have considered English to be a corruptive element that poisons its youth and have for decades banned it from schools and colleges. So the army of translators must have had a tough time and most probably may not have been on good terms with each other after the summit. 

Coming back to the meeting itself, the triumvirate has collectively discussed eight major topics, as listed above, may be more. Let us leave out the last seven and take a good look at the first issue, “collectively rooting out terrorism”. Here are a few points for your consideration. 

  • China has accepted a tract of Pak occupied Kashmir as a gift for supplying arms and allowing free thoroughfare to Pak Jihadis along the disputed borders.
  • China covertly funds and arms Maoist militants in Assam, Nepal, Meghalaya, Nagaland, Misoram, Nepal, Burma etc. The Chinese politburo continues to have dreams of Universal Communism and mass suppression.
  • China continues to covertly support totalitarian regimes in North Korea and Burma. Poor Nepal is being worked on.
  • Chinese military and secret police are indulging in acts of absolute Terrorism when it comes to democracy in Tibet and the inside the Chinese Republic itself. Remember Tiananmen Square on 4th June 1989?
  • China would be greatly pleased if some Maoist or Jihadi would assassinate the great Dalai Lama in India. They might already have handed out contracts.
  • China has traditionally used Islamic and Maoist terrorists to gather intelligence in India, Pakistan and the Middle East.
  • Russia still considers democracy as forbidden and as an act of terrorism within its borders. Remember the Russian bear mauling Georgia in 2008? Also Russia can not forget its bitter experence with Islamic fundamentalists from Uzbekistan during salad days of the Communist ‘Empire’. Most of these hardcore, heavily armed Jihadis are now in North West Pakistan.
  • Though both are Communist countries, Russia has always mistrusted China and its brand of revolution. Russia’s friendship with India greatly stems from having a strategic partner on the southern Chinese border.
  • Along with Israel, India is the first country to recognise and tackle Islamic terrorism right from 1948. But despite all its military might and infrastructure, India continues to shuffle its feet for fear of antagonising its 19% Muslim voters. 

With so many conflicting interests RIC members can not cooperate on fighting terrorism. Thus, dear reader, what happened in Bangalore is a first class sham. The Bear, the Panda and the Tiger do not and can not order their fare from the same menu. In the process, they ended up serving us all a lot of bull. Most probably the only worrying issue they might have discussed could have been the Pak army going on war against their first cousins, viz. Al Qaeda, Taliban and Lashkar-E-Taiba. The terrorists, suddenly facing the prospects of turning homeless, are having a go at everything in range. The icing on the cake was the explosion and murders in Iran itself, considered to be the modern spiritual homeland of Islamic fundamentalism. Consequently, the triumvirate in Bangalore would have deeply considered a spill over of fleeing terrorists from Afghanistan, Waziristan and Pakistan in general. All parties at RIC do have common borders with this terrorist belt. Of course, none of it would have been mentioned at the press conference, again for fear of rubbing India’s Moslem voters the wrong way. 

Coming back to Pakistan, they had it coming anyway. It is just an example for a riffraff pack of specially bred, illiterate extra vicious, home grown maniacs turning against their own masters. 

It would be nice to know what the Russian and Chinese media have to say about this ‘RIC’ garden party. They may not even be obliged to say anything at all to their long suffering public. The two Communist representatives themselves need not have been provided with a full picture by Moscow and Peking. Too busy to comment, Comrade Vladimir Putin is busy controlling the Russian Mafia and the Kremlin even as he leads the life of a semi retired prime minister cum macho man, fishing, hunting and generally having a great time, exactly as Chairman Mao did during his last years. Chinese politburo is known to even have supplied teenage virgins to the senile, toothless Chairman, three a day. 

If Democracy does indeed come to China one day, non-violent Buddhism will indeed play a pivotal role; all the more reason for Peking’s official terrorists to see off the magnificent Dalai Lama. 

It is all too much of a morbid joke.  I can’t stop crying and my keyboard is swamped.

Crowning Glory: If you look at the picture given above, it can be seen that the two Communists are crowned with toupees made of gold zari, clear symbols of erstwhile Indian aristocracy and feudalism. Clearly S M Krishna must have refused one for himself, because it may not fit his outrageous wig. Cheers.

Picture Credit: Kerala Kaumudi Daily, Online Edition



  1. The headgear is what S M Krishna’s countrymen in Karnataka wear for marriages and pompous official functions. So Krishna scored a point with the Kannadiga voters now rooting for BJP that he got the Chinese and Russian to wear this headgear. Jai ho Kannada!

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